Author Archives: Lateefah Wielenga, Ph.D.

Romantic Relationships

The Art of Flirting

Happy couple flirting and kissing - The Art of Flirting

“First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love.”  —Maya Angelou

Kate Jones, of Co-Operative Foods, commissioned a study that found couples start taking each other for granted three and half years into their marriage. The poll of 2,000 married adults indicated three years is the point where couples lose the dating buzz.

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Self Love

4 Tips to Get Through Thanksgiving This Year

thanksgiving dinner party

I’m about to head to the grocery store to pick up five large yams, or sweet potatoes; sometimes I use both. Each year my friend and her husband host a fabulous Thanksgiving feast, and most of the guests bring a side dish. Needless to say, I bring the candied yams.

Thanksgiving is the time of year when we gather with family and friends to give thanks for all we have, and everyone we love.

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Romantic Relationships

3 Signs Your Relationship Needs A Refresh

couple on couch that needs a relationship refresh

I think it’s safe to say we have all experienced difficulties in our relationships.  One of the reasons being, we are individuals with our own views, thoughts and feelings and are not going to always agree with the person we love.

When we find ourselves against a wall of discomfort and don’t know how to handle or communicate our feelings, we may want to walk away from the relationship.

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Romantic Relationships

Dating Trials and Errors

Couple on a date - Dating Trials and Errors

Last week I started this story and gave you 6 tips for getting back in the dating game that I learned when I started dating again after a bad break-up. If you haven’t read that yet, I suggest you go back and read it now.

Needless to say, the online dating scene didn’t quite work for me, so I removed my profile and resumed my life.

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Romantic Relationships

6 Tips For Getting Back in the Dating Game

First date over coffee - starting to date again after a break-up

One of the reasons I became a relationship coach was because of a painful break-up that I experienced which triggered a devastating illness. Once I found my way back to physical, and emotional health, I spent years researching and interviewing people about relationship issues.

This gave me real insight into my own behaviors and helped me realize that most of the problems I’d faced in my former relationship plagued many other relationships as well.

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Romantic Relationships

Are You Struggling because of Infidelity?

Couple struggling because if infidelity in the relationship

When you were a child, did you ever see the cartoons that included two little characters that were supposed to be depictions of our conscious? One donned a halo, and the other had horns. They would sit on each shoulder of the character that got caught in a dilemma.  Do you remember?

I’m bringing this to mind because, although we are no longer children, and we know right from wrong, those little cartoon characters remain with us.

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Romantic Relationships

What Men Need to Feel Loved

5 Things men need to feel loved

Ladies, this one’s for you.

Some of you may already know what men need to feel loved – but for those of you who aren’t clear on the matter, listen-up!

For many men, to be emotionally engaged in a relationship is a challenge. Expressing feelings and emotions is unchartered territory, since they’ve been taught not to express their emotions. That their role is to be tough, be in charge, and take control.

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Romantic Relationships

The Do’s and Don’ts of Love & Relationships

Happy couple holding each other in love

You had no idea it was coming, but Love wrapped you in its blanket the moment you set eyes on each other. Time seemed to stop – then things felt like they were going in slow motion. Yet, the clock was ticking and the journey began. You didn’t know where ‘this’ was taking you, but it was – and still, may even be exciting!

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Self Love

Finding Self-Love is Like Walking a Labyrinth

Labyrinth with shelter in the center

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.”-Bernice Johnson Reagon

When I began to realize many people in committed relationships find it challenging to be honest and authentic with their partners, I began to question my clients to understand what was happening.  I discovered that vulnerability and transparency, two crucial components of finding self-love and true intimacy, were the biggest challenges.

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Romantic Relationships

What Is True Intimacy and How Do We Experience It?

A couple lovingly holding each other which leads to true intimacy.

The meaning of true intimacy isn’t sex and bodies rubbing. That comes after honest sharing. True intimacy is eye to eye -soul to soul; feeling, seeing and knowing each other on the deepest level.

Often-times, people begin relationships backwards – sex first, then intimacy. Getting to know the person first usually results in more exploration and the desire to commit. The media sometimes gives only the romantic version of relationships; emphasizing the physical aspects of what it means to be close to someone.

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