Author Archives: Lateefah Wielenga, Ph.D.

Personal Growth

Finding Self-Love is Like Walking a Labyrinth

Labyrinth with shelter in the center

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.”-Bernice Johnson Reagon

When I began to realize many people in committed relationships find it challenging to be honest and authentic with their partners, I began to question my clients to understand what was happening.  I discovered that vulnerability and transparency, two crucial components of finding self-love and true intimacy, were the biggest challenges.

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Relationships

What Is True Intimacy and How Do We Experience It?

A couple lovingly holding each other which leads to true intimacy.

The meaning of true intimacy isn’t sex and bodies rubbing. That comes after honest sharing. True intimacy is eye to eye -soul to soul; feeling, seeing and knowing each other on the deepest level.

Often-times, people begin relationships backwards – sex first, then intimacy. Getting to know the person first usually results in more exploration and the desire to commit. The media sometimes gives only the romantic version of relationships; emphasizing the physical aspects of what it means to be close to someone.

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Relationships

Are You Considering Living Together?

Couple sitting in front of boxes after deciding that living together was right for them

I know –She’s just what you’ve always dreamed of. He’s your soul-mate, and the two of you are meant to be together. Living together seems like the next practical step, right?

Before you consider moving in with your partner, first ask yourself why you want to live together.

Passion and insecurity are sometimes the reason why couples move in too quickly.

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Blog

Random Acts of Love- Not Forgetting About The Little Things

Relationships are a delicate balance of time, trust, and dedication to one another; but sometimes the little things that matter are forgotten. We get so busy with our lives – careers, school, children – that our feelings of love take a backseat.

What happened to the attention to the details? To keep a relationship strong, we must remember to:

  1. Laugh together
  2. Appreciate our partner
  3. Give each other compliments
  4.  Spend quality time together


Laughing Together

Although it’s important to focus on how much time and effort we put into talking, sharing, and building relationships with others, it can seem impossible to always show them how much we care.

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Blog

Happiness-who is responsible?

Happiness starts by taking personal responsibility. Unless you’re one that’s usually joyful, there are things you can do to have that euphoric feeling. Happiness is the attitude we take when approaching life and unforeseen environmental factors. Although good cheer may be something many seek, we can decide to experience it in much of what’s around us. If you’re having difficulties being happy, here are a four (4) steps to get you on your way.
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Blog

You are all you’ve got!

This week, the coaching Kiva is going to talk about the importance of staying true to yourself. There is one commonality that we all share; we start the journey alone, hence ending the journey alone. Our bodies are a vessel, the hands our instruments, and our heart is the gateway to eternity.

Unfortunately, losing yourself is one of the easiest things to do.

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Blog

The Ease and Flow of Life

Life as we know it, is an unknown, mysterious force that breathes a fruitful yield and bittersweet dissolution. No matter what obstruent obstacle, life’s delicate heart beat will continue its rhythm to create the ease and flow of life.

In our existence, we are but humble students; a commonality in awaiting our destination-in the end.

Do you ever worry about where your life is heading?

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Blog

The Effects of Loving Yourself

Self-confidence, self-worth, beauty, and happiness gravitate inside-out from our souls. A flower is not beautiful because it’s flawless; it’s perfection comes from the days of growth and development. To create the perfect flower entails pruning and giving it nourishment. A person’s physiological and spiritual self is a lot like flowers; requiring much finesse and care. Can the forest of birds be heard if there’s no one listening?

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Blog

Help! Knowing When to Ask For It

Last week the Coaching Kiva covered how to approach the issue of feeling stuck; this week
we are going to further expand on the idea of when you feel, “all is lost.” Whether the crisis
involves finances, relationship, or work -when is it okay to ask for help? The answer varies by individual, but the best practice
to pursue is to ask for assistance when you don’thave the tools, or the resources you need to solve the problem.
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Blog

Sex, Love, & Food: The inticacies of what’s delicious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CONTENT FROM THE BOOK

Colette walked into Tin Roof restaurant in Manhattan Beach. She liked the ambiance and the energy of the people.

“This place feels good to me” she said to her best friends Lauren and Pamela.

“I’m glad we made this decision.”

As they walked into the restaurant there was a bar to the left, many people were seated there for the wine tasting event.

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