Last week the Coaching Kiva covered how to approach the issue of feeling stuck; this week
we are going to further expand on the idea of when you feel, “all is lost.” Whether the crisis
involves finances, relationship, or work -when is it okay to ask for help? The answer varies by individual, but the best practice
to pursue is to ask for assistance when you don’thave the tools, or the resources you need to solve the problem.
This means that you believe you have exhausted every knowing alternative. When asking for help, always have a positive attitude. Thomas Jefferson once said, “nothing can stop the man, with the right mental attitude; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”When asking for help be humble, open, and follow through. The example given below apply to relationships as well.
Asking for help can be a humbling experience. When asking, you need to set all pride aside and push past the fear of being a burden. Ask for assistance from those who are established and driven. There is nothing worse than a blind man leading the blind.
Open and Receiving
When you are asking for someone’s help, never criticize or attack someone’s bid of assistance, and expect it not to be easy. For example, Tom has hit a rough patch with his finances and he is unable to pay the rent. Tom has two options; try to borrow more money, becoming deeper in debt, or to ask friends or family for help. Tom’s father suggests that Tom goes back to school to get a degree. In turn, he will cover the rent until he completes his degree. Tom rejects his dad’s offer because he thinks he is too old and school is a waste of time.
Tom’s pride and animosity has not only denigrated the offer from his father, but the possibility of future help. No one who achieves success does so without acknowledging the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude (Alfred Whitehead).
No one wants to help someone that makes empty promises and commitments. When accepting help from others, do not expect it to be easy (ex. Tom going back to school). Do not be the start-or-stop guy/girl that never finishes what he or she started. In your personal life or in your relationship, remember to acknowledge that you need help, put your pride aside, and stay in gratitude. You’ll be amazed at the results!
(If you’re experiencing relationship problems, call a professional.)
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The Coaching Kiva
Dr. Lateefah Wielenga
Your Bridge to a Life of Satisfaction and Fulfillment,
Article by Paul Newcombe