Remember the Kiss Test? If not let me refresh your memory. A relationship coach who helps men learn how to date women came up with this. He says that when a man wants to kiss a woman for the first time but is not certain if she’s into him like – that this is what he should do:
Touch the tip of her hair easily – ever so slightly as if the action is natural. If she doesn’t become uncomfortable, he can then gently place her hair behind her ear. If she moves her head away he should take that as an indication that she’s not ready to be kissed by him. But if she doesn’t move away or leans in a little bit, then it’s okay to kiss her.
Isn’t that interesting? How many of you men (or women) have done this? How many of you women recognize this? Leave a comment in the comment section and let me know if his tactic works.
On that note, I’d like to suggest something that women can do to help de-escalate arguments or disagreements that are on their way to getting out of hand. When you and your partner are having a challenging time understanding each other, gently touch him (or her). If you are standing away from them walk over and softly stroke their arm and let him know the two of you can work through this. If you’re sitting down touch their hand or leg. Usually, this will defuse the situation and you and your partner can begin again or wait until tomorrow to have the discussion.
Studies have shown that when a couple is touching they are less inclined to quarrel than when they are not touching. So this brings me to the topic of choice. We can choose. Do you want to be at odds with your partner? If yes pops up then ask yourself how being estranged from the person you care about is serving you. Which of your six human needs is that fulfilling? Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth, Contribution.
We don’t have to create or perpetuate conflict in our relationships. There is always something that can be done. Like kissing or touching.