You know? The touch that puts goose bumps on your arms and butterflies in your belly. The kind that sometimes puts you in a trance and you just don’t want to move, because it feels so good. Like that. When’s the last time you’ve been touched?
Back in the day in my neighborhood, the word we’d use to describe the person who piqued our interest was, fine. “Girl, he’s so fine.” The guys would say, “Man, she’s fine.” Then we’d begin to run down a detailed description of how they looked. A dissection of the hair, to the feet. That person was fine.
Today they say hot, and that translates to beautiful, pretty, sexy, handsome, or desirable. It’s all the same. Fine. I remember the tingles those conversations brought. We were young, and the idea of love and sex was exciting! But what about now? Now that you’re all grown up, and you have your partner, and perhaps children, is there still excitement? Does your long-term partner, still have the sex appeal that lured you to them when you first met? Remember how just imagining their touch made you nervous with anticipation? Is that still happening? Does their scent make you want to get closer? Think about it. When’s the last time you’ve been touched … like that?
If you noticed I didn’t ask about your love life. I went straight to the physical aspect, because the love between you and your partner is probably still strong (fingers crossed). Yet, one of the first things that evaporates in a great relationship is physical intimacy. Yes, having sex. The disappearance of that action seems to have happened on an invisible plane since, one day it’s just gone. You realize the connection’s gone too. Then blame, or guilt enters the room, and one person asks the other, “When’s the last time we had sex?”
Sex acts as the glue that helps to keep you connected. It’s the magic that causes the twinkle in your eyes. When you first met your mate, it may have been like looking through a kaleidoscope. Everything was exciting, and love had so many variations you stayed, and the two of you created a life together. With time, the colors started to fade. Careers, children, the house. The disconnect.
But things can change for the better. You still love each other, you just stopped paying attention. When you first met your partner, your head turned whenever they walked by. The way they smelled intoxicated you, and when the two of you were together, you couldn’t seem to keep your hands to yourself. Wherever they were is where you wanted to be. Right? You can re-create those time, by re-activating your sexy. Reach into your bag of shared secrets and remember who you’re with. Decide to shake things up. Have sex!
If you want to be touched like that again, you’ve got to bring in the glue, and find the magic that makes your eyes twinkle. Remember these four things:
- Be creative and adventurous.
- Believe you’re an even better version of yourself now.
- Have fun again.
- Don’t be shy
So, tell me, are you ready to be touched …like that?
Dr. Lateefah Wielenga